Author: Stephen Oliver

I’m collecting my Mother from hospital this afternoon.

Two days ago, she started to have pains in her left thigh. Having broken the neck of her right hip years ago, she has been limping to the right. When she woke up, she had unexpected pains on the left. They were worse yesterday morning, so we went to the doctor, where she got an injection and a liquid medication; they didn’t help at all.

Last night, the pain got so bad that she was whimpering every time she moved, and often when she didn’t. After waiting over an hour for an emergency doctor to call, and being informed that it would be at least another hour before he arrived, I arranged for an ambulance to take her to hospital. She had to stay overnight, because they wanted to do X-rays and ultra-scans. She doesn’t have a thrombosis, which is what she was scared of, because the husband of an old school friend lost his whole leg after a deep vein thrombosis. It seems that she just pulled some muscles when she tripped up a couple of days before.

All this goes to show that we seldom know the cause of problems, and our fears are often worse than reality. Or as a friend used to say:

Don’t burn your bridges until you come to them.

However, my Mother’s fears led me to think about our attitudes in the face of eternity. After all, no matter how long we live, in comparison to eternity, or even so short a time as the lifetime of the universe, our lives are unbelievably brief. That being the case, why should we go out of our way to be miserable, when we could be happy?

The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.

Carlos Castaneda

The choice is yours.

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Like most of us, you have probably heard the term Guru being used and misused.

What does the word actually mean? In the original Sanskrit language, it means no more than master, as in someone who has mastered a subject, or teacher. Any teacher; no more, no less. A guru teaches his or her chelas, which means students, imparting his or her accumulated knowledge further.

Nowadays, the word has taken on additional meanings, some of them quite negative.

For example, a guru may be someone who in some way acquires followers, often innocent or naïve people who believe in their brand of religion. There is a sense of control, manipulation and even abuse of the followers. These kinds of gurus can effectively become cult leaders.

In other cases, the meaning is more that of a person who sets him or herself up as an (often ultimate) authority on some subject. The subject matter may be anything from cooking to Internet marketing to self-development. They could be mavens, ready to assist anyone who asks for their help. On the other hand, they might also use their positions as a means to ensure that others cannot catch up with them, imparting incomplete or even false information.

I’m sure there are other meanings you can think of for yourself.

In my teaching as a computer trainer, Reiki Master and, lately, adult educator, I have always striven to stay as closely as possible to the original meaning of the word guru. To quote from a book I am writing:

I believe that teaching others what I know and have learned to be a great good, if it serves to bring them to my level of knowledge and experience. They can then go further and I can learn from them, in mutual support. The more people who know what I know, the faster and easier it will be for all of us to move to a higher level of knowledge and experience. Newton once said “. . . if I have seen further, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants.” These days, the giants are often the people with whom we rub shoulders. Paradoxical as it sounds, we can all see further because we can stand on each other’s shoulders.

If you teach, which kind of teacher are you?

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If you’re thinking to yourself: “Not another blog about self-development and personal growth!”, then you’re right. It isn’t.

My definition of these terms is much more inclusive than that of most people. I believe that any learning experience, no matter what area of life it’s in, helps us grow. A few examples:

• Learning a new language
  Many people don’t realise that learning a new language gives them the keys to a new way of thinking. Every language mankind has ever invented has thoughts and concepts that are unique to it, that are incapable of one-to-one translation into at least one other language. Each has a world-view which is unique, and learning multiple views can only help make us more flexible and tolerant.For example, the German word gemütlich might translate to something similar in meaning to “cosy,” or “comfortable.” Neither of those words carries the exact subtleties of flavour of what the word means to a German-speaker. Sometimes, there is no way to say something in a language at all, and words and phrases must be borrowed from another language; Esprit de Corps is something that actually cannot be accurately described in English directly.Of course, the best way to learn a language is to go to a country where it is spoken, and then fall in love with a native speaker. The joy of the emotion makes learning their language so much easier. For those who for any reason cannot do this, I intend in the future to offer language courses, if there is the demand or desire for them.
• Learning to use a camera
  It’s not just learning the technicalities of the camera itself, but the new techniques and ways of looking at the world that are important. We have to start thinking in terms of when to press the button, as well as things like the point of interest.Have you ever wondered so many pictures are boring? There is the subject, sitting in the middle of the image, and somehow everything seems so dull! A little trick I learned years ago is the Principle of Thirds. If the point of interest is 1/3 or 2/3 of the way across, or 1/3 or 2/3 of the distance from the top to bottom, the picture immediately becomes more interesting. Learning how to achieve this with autofocus cameras is a stimulating experience.Then we have the complexities of depth of field, development and enlarging (if you use film cameras), or computer manipulation (even if it’s just cropping Aunty May’s left foot from the edge of the picture). Mastering these new techniques definitely stretches us and gives us new capabilities and new points of view.
• Cooking a new recipe
  There are so many cookery books available, not to mention the possibilities of the Internet. Not only can we learn about new tastes and combinations of tastes, but the discipline of following a recipe can, of itself, be a learning experience.Discovering the cooking of other countries can be so liberating! New flavours and smells, new textures, new spices and herbs, new equipment and techniques, and so on. These can only improve the way you cook everything. Best of all, you get to eat the results!You might even discover that the food you’ve been eating for years is not what you really want and that, for instance, Japanese food is what really gets your motor going.
• Writing a book
  It doesn’t matter whether you are writing fiction or nonfiction, the experience of writing a book can be an incredibly creative experience.If it’s nonfiction, having to put your thoughts into a logical structure helps you understand the material better, since you may discover connections that you hadn’t consciously known existed before. It’s like teaching; only when you teach something do you really begin to understand what it is that you’ve learned.Fiction, on the other hand, calls on levels of creativity you may not have realised that you have. Plotting, character creation, scene-building, and even the selection of the most apposite phrase or word call upon unsuspected abilities andresources from the depths of your self.

There are so many possibilities: learning oil painting, embroidering a picture, teaching yourself to use all ten fingers when typing, even learning to drive a car (just to mention a few other things I have learned over the years), are all things that grow our selves, and expand our capabilities.

I hope you will follow me as I follow some of these paths and show you what I have learned with time. If I can help you avoid some of the mistakes and pitfalls I have encountered, it can only be to the good.

I will also offer products I have acquired or developed myself, which I believe will help you to achieve your own growth. If there is something you think I could supply, drop me an e-mail, and I’ll see what I can do.

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